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Jonathan Brandis Forum • View topic - My name is Pheobe, yes: Pheobe not Phoebe

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2011 5:12 pm 
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Location: Transilvania
I am here.... finally... I am here to admit that I was mad ever since I heard the news about the dead. And now, when I thought I got over it, I got mad again:
While browsing memories, I googled for some old sites I knew and I realized about 80-90% is gone! Vanished! Disappeared!
seaquest.net erased... My one site seaquest.as.ro also gone.... everything gone....
Well..... I did not forgot, I didn't stop carrying... I was just so mad that I had to stay away for a while. A little to long actually.
:coffee1: I will tell my story while drinking the morning coffee, and, while you read, I hope to find myself again, because somehow, I have the feeling that I erased a part of myself just like internet erased those old websites, and I only started to understand that something is missing. I also hope this story will inspire people to never let go on their important dreams.

I was 14 when it all started. I am 26 now... Wow...quite a while. :-s
I was outdoors with my telescope when the sky got cloudy and I had to enter back home. But I could not sleep - after many nights spent with astronomy, my sleeping cycle started at 5 am and not sooner. I turned the TV and there was seaquest. While watching the first 3 episodes, a "click" happened in my brain and I heard myself saying "hey, this is actually quite close to something real, something worthy, something I like more than anything".


Does anyone remember those scenes at the end of each episode when a crew member made an association with real facts about the ocean environment? I admit that each day I gather information about those real facts and I got fascinated with the sea life and most of all, I made my decision: this is what I want to do when I grow up - I want to study and protect the environment. I am not sure now if the scope of the series was to get people sensitive about environment, but it most certainly reached that scope for me.

Wondering if I made my childhood dream come true? If I really ended up becoming an environmentalist because of seaquest? Well... I will continue telling my story tomorrow because now I have to go to work...
Glad to meet you, by the way :)

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Formation of man is not free life. Human formation is when put to the test, when asked to merge with the Light.


Last edited by Pheobe Wallstein on Thu Sep 01, 2011 4:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 3:39 am 
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Hi Pheobe :-h

Glad to get you here, you are very welcome :)

Feel good staying here.

Ivi

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 9:27 am 
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Welcome among us. I can't wait to read the rest of your story.

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“I mean, I try to say the right things and give the right advice. But still, I’m only a person.” -Jonathan Brandis


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 1:49 pm 
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Welcome!


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 4:44 pm 
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The summer when I was spending nights with my telescope was the summer when I had to decide to what high-school should I go.
And after the first series of seaquest I made my decision: natural science German school.
And my parents were there to support me. All went great.
During 4 years of high-school I gradually changed/reshaped myself from a nobody to a somebody.

I piked up the name Pheobe Wallstein. I read somewhere that if you want a change, you can pick up a new name and use it to self-motivate. This really worked for me. And, a bit of change in the way I looked too... ;;) I got my hair dyed.
I started to do some daily gymnastics and more: up on the hill to the library and down the hill back home. This also helped me fell better than sitting at home wondering "why, why, why...?" and "how, how,how...?".
I read a lot in this period. Science and computer books mostly, but also philosophy. I read all I wanted to know, and the difference from the old me was that I put aside ignorance. Les thinking and more acting. Daily program split by hours. Self-discipline. This did not turned me into a geek, but it gave me discussion subjects and more energy for everything. The program was calibrated to allow both hard work/study and fun.

There is one particular event that turned my social life as well.
I had this colleague that could not tolerate me from God knows what reason. One day, there was a lot of noise in the classroom and she tried to ask me something. I could not hear and asked her to repeat. She replied that I have plugs in my ears. Normally, the old me would have left the room silently. But, this time, I said "No, you'r the one with donuts in your mouth." She never picked up on me again and I started to go on social events more often.

What was the role of Jon Brandis in this story? He was the inspiration factor and motivator...
Most teens and even older ones seek a famous person (actor, singer, businessman) to become their inspiration (model) in life. Why Jon? Because he was passionate about what he did and put all it's dedication to get the results he wanted.
There was no "can't do". At least apparently....

And after high-school... tomorow!
Work again.... ~x(

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Formation of man is not free life. Human formation is when put to the test, when asked to merge with the Light.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 4:14 am 
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Hi Pheobe,

does that mean you are an european girl or "only" speak very well german?

I'm impressed by your story!

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 11:32 am 
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I like the idea of 'donuts in your mouth' being an insult! (It makes me hungry!) We usually say 'mushmouth' or 'marbles in your mouth' - but it's interesting to hear the variations of the same idea from different countries. Someone from Russia told another when he was 'fooling' her that he was trying to 'hang noodles on her ears'.

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I have carried it with me for too long. I give it back." - M. Strand


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 4:28 pm 
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Formation of man is not free life. Human formation is when put to the test, when asked to merge with the Light.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 4:51 pm 
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Back to the story before my minutes pass.

In the summer before the last year of high-school I went scuba diving. Surprisingly, my mother allowed and sponsored this! I am saying surprisingly because she always thought I was a dreamer and that one day I will wake up in reality.
Due to low budget, I only made the beginners class. However, those are some of the best memories...
Apart from this, I was again in front of the decision about what to do next. My first choice was Polytechnic University. In order to make it, I had to pass a pretty hard math exam. And no, i wan't brilliant with math. Therefore, many doubts and fear for a period...

Then the day of the results came, I saw my name on the list: I entered Polytechnic University, Faculty of Telecommunications. But, because I had my doubts, I also entered Faculty of Environmental Science (here with scholarship). I managed to go with both for a year, but it was the most exhausting year ever.
Until the day when something broke up.
One of the teachers from Telecommunications had something against girls joining this Faculty and as teaching material he used some extremely old yellow papers from a book dated 1980. I just could not handle this. It crushed my hopes. So I dropped this Faculty. Just like that: I stopped going.

I remained put in the Environmental Science, where I was getting better and better. In made some really good researches and went to symposiums. I was also the most active member of an Environmental NGO.
While finishing each year between the first 5 on the list, the final graduation exam put me on top of the list. So I was offered a job inside the Faculty.


This was probably the last moment of glory in 2006. Everything began to fall afterwards. But, the sad part of the story will be written tomorrow.

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Formation of man is not free life. Human formation is when put to the test, when asked to merge with the Light.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 4:53 pm 
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Formation of man is not free life. Human formation is when put to the test, when asked to merge with the Light.


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